Hi, all.
Happy New Year.
I know what you're thinking after reading the title.
There is an interesting thing that has occurred when I have
received my attunements with each level of Reiki.
I've mentioned it here in my writings (pretty sure. don't
hold me to it) and when I teach classes on essential oils, after each level I
become sensitive to something, or I "loose the taste for something."
To give you an idea:
Before Reiki:
I drank.
I drank a lot.
It was nothing to drink a 12-pack of beer (especially in
college), or an entire bottle of wine [or 1 glass short of a bottle (how about
that for some double meaning?)]. I could have built a respectable-sized house
with all the pot I smoked.
After Reiki:
After my second level attunements I meditated and asked for
guidance for what I should do with my life. That night I dreamt of my
grandmother holding a dime bag in her hand and looking at me with severe
disappointment (my grandmother crossed 2 ½ years before). The next day, I had
no desire to smoke pot. It wasn't a "my grandmother will haunt me if I
ever smoke pot again." There was no fear. There wasn't even anything
resembling guilt. There was only "I don't want to smoke pot anymore."
And so I didn't. This was after years of knowing that I needed to stop and the
urge to keep going felt too strong. Every once in a while I thought about
smoking again, and realized I would have to start all over again on not
smoking. Or when I got a mild urge, it had been such a long time and the rare
times I was at a party where someone had the scent on their clothes it turned
my stomach.
Drinking had pretty much been downgraded to occasionally with
a meal [i.e., a Margarita (maybe 2) with Mexican food.].
After my Master Teacher attunements I have discovered
chocolate makes me feel like I'm high (I'm a little sad about that because, as
a foodie, I like the taste of chocolate, but carob is a respectable
replacement).
Which brings me to wine.
For the record, I did not get drunk during the holidays. I
had A glass of wine at dinner on Christmas Eve WITH dinner and three glasses of
wine at WITH dinner several nights later.
Let me repeat: I did not get drunk.
I know what drunk feels like.
Blurry vision, slurred words, struggling to speak correctly,
struggling to maintain balance. Doing things you have no business doing (the
adults in the room know what I'm talking about).
I. Know. Drunk.
And if I didn't know it, I've certainly been around enough
people who have been.
The best I can describe is what I felt last week as having had
a psychedelic experience. DISCLAIMER: I have only tried acid once a really long
time ago, and I have been sleep deprived for one reason or another as well, so
I think that counts too.
Okay, so, as I'm drinking wine with dinner and I'm talking
to my friends at the table, it felt like
my true self retreated/was pushed back to my core, a perfect, H-D clear, piece
of glass separated me and the obnoxious loud mouth talking WAY too much and had
control of my body. When I realized this was happening and that I didn't feel
drunk, I became confused and embarrassed. This was "mild" at
Christmas because of the one glass, but I did deduce that it was the alcohol
because that was the only common denominator and my "Der-ness was
exponential the night I had the 3 glasses with the same dumb-dumb
"symptoms."
Who the f*&ck wants to feel like that?
Not this Goddess. No Ma'am.
I did my best to take control of myself and calm down. I
felt the paranoia of pot and that has never felt good, even when I had no
desire to quit smoking.
So, I'm not drinking anymore.
I've lost the taste for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment