Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The language at the end may be a little course, but you can't say I'm not being honest.


Wow.
I don't even know where to begin.
There has been a lot going on (understatement of the millennia).
Still married. Things in that regard are going really well.
Still have cats. They are still just as spoiled, if not more so, than ever.
Still editing. Still writing.
I am a level 1 scuba diver, certified in open water, computer, and nitrox (thank you very much, fellow student divers, great instructors, and dive master at Choo Choo Dive and Aquatic).
I am a Reiki Master Teacher and I continue to work with some pretty awesome people from all walks of life.
For the most part, I've done things I've wanted to do. Things that have made me happy (bit of a change from the past few years).
So to start somewhere
As I said, I am a Reiki Master Teacher now. It's interesting how I feel about it. I don't feel as "scrambly eggy" as I did with the levels one and two attunements, but I have noticed my sensitivities and taste and distaste for things have changed. In coming up with some sort of comparison an image came to mind: haloclines of Cenote Angelita in Mexico.
A halocline (trying to keep from getting super technical here) is the layer between the fresh water above and the salt water below. This particular halocline is cloudy and is composed of rotted tree and other plant matter.
As I adjust to my attunement, I feel as though I've moved from one level of existence to another, but some days, as I struggle with my ego I feel like I'm still in the rotting decay. Please don't misunderstand. This is not a bad thing. This is a huge and wonderful thing I am trying to explain and I don’t know if I can do the feeling justice. I can say with certainty the responsibility of who I am now is astronomical compared to where I was and I accept it not without fear, but with a stronger awareness of what this means outshines any fear that attempts to manifest itself. I don't know if this is just the way of things (everyone's path is different), or something else, but everyday is another new day. It's almost like I got a new set of eyeballs and an upgraded brain (maybe I'm an energetic bionic woman. joking…just a little…maybe.)
My ego has always wanted me to be a pretentious, angry asshole. Quite honestly, I'm fantastic at being an asshole. I think I have a certificate somewhere. Have you ever seen the documentaries on the Science Channel about super nova? Yeah. That was the old me from long ago. I was quite splendid at explosive anger. Now I'm choosing to root for Team Kristie Comes from Joy. I feel better at the end of the day. I've been able to accept responsibility in enabling my ego at times with half truths instead of just doing what I know I should do (everything from the mundane to the profound).
Wow.

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